Evil Dead Gav

When I think of the original 'Dead Space', the first thing that comes to mind is 'fucked', because that's essentially what you are. Your character in the game? Fucked. You sitting at home? Fucked. The entire premise of the game and every single moment of gametime? Fucked. You are simply fucked right in the ear. There is no way in hell that this situation can be redeemed. It's just a clusterfuck of epic proportions, and probably one of the most terrifying gaming experiences of my life. The game was more atmospheric than a medieval church complete with Gregorian chanting and a little girl in a red raincoat standing on the altar. And there's a full moon in there too. And mist. In short, the game's general mood is set to 'Default: Ominous', and it worked. Oh mighty Poseidon, it worked. I ruined my favourite pair of trousers within 3 hours of playing (I didn't shit / piss myself, I dropped my drink on my lap in shock) and kept playing, albeit in less-favoured trousers.


He's not hugging him! Somebody call the Space Police!

Essentially, the game was the bastard child of 'Event Horizon' and 'The Thing', and it's 3rd cousin was 'Evil Dead'. You play Isaac Clarke, an Engineer who clearly had parents obsessed with Sci-Fi novels. Isaac is part of a small (and apparenty delicious) crew sent to figure out why the 'USG Ishimura' has decided to not return it's calls. I will now give the shortest game plot description possible: You get there. It's fucked. You murder everything. You get away.


5 years of 'Engineering' college. 3 years getting an MA in 'Unwieldy Mining Tools'. Result: Badass.

It's a great gaming experience, and I was gagging for the sequel. And it's here. And it is good.
'Dead Space 2' picks up essentially where we left off; you're fucked. And it continues that theme throughout the game. Whereas the first 'Dead Space' focused on limited ammo drops and a slow, steadily rising threat level of horror. 'Dead Space 2' however decides that's not a good idea anymore, so they give you enough ammunition to kill a small Island nation and throw enough slavering monstosities at you to... well, to kill a small Island nation. While it's excellent fun to be dismembering everything that moves (and it is fun, believe me) it seems to have 'lost' some of it's fear factor. Yes, it's still scary as hell, but it's not the same fear as the original. Where 'Dead Space' had the slow, crushing terror of empty corridors and noises filtering through your primal brain, 'Dead Space 2' focuses on 'bad guys are scary. Here's lots of them'. It works, don't get me wrong, but it's just not as effective.

Speaking of which, the Necromorphs (yeah, the excellent naming convention had packed up and left that day) are essentially the result of HR Giger throwing an anatomy manual into a blender, masturbating onto it, then hitting 'puree', and drawing pictures based on the results.
The Necromorphs are the bodies of the dead reanimated by wibbly-wobbly genetical magicians from the Planet 'Wexford'. Okay, that last bit is a slight lie, but essentally it results in the same thing; dead people get 'infected', then apparently to get back up and become extreme extra's from a Brian Yunza movie. In fairness, the Necromorphs look pretty great. They're so twisted up and deformed that you can't help but admire the work that's gone into designing them. And then you see stuff like the 'Crawlers', and you realise that the people you've admired are really just sick sick bastards. A 7-foot tall bloke with his guts hanging out and sycthes for arms? Grand. A bloke with 3 legs and puking stomach acid? Grand. But a crawling baby with a bloated yellow stomach that cries and crawls towards you, only to explode with a fountain of yellow pus? Did I forget to mention there's an entire level set in a Children's School? And there's literally dozens of them crying and wailing pitifully, and the only thing you can do is politely point your gun at them and pull the trigger? Thanks 'Dead Space 2'. I needed that.



With a face like that i'd hate to see his arse. Or maybe that is his arse. I dunno. Frankly, I don't want to.


But down to the facts:
The game is very pretty, in the sense that what it does show visually is incredible. You won't look at this game and say "It's gorgeous!". Because it's not. It's dreary, depressing and downright sad, but it LOOKS dreary, depressing and sad. It does exactly what it intends to, and looks good while doing it. The character models are grea too, though suffer a little when no longer active. The bodies tend to go a bit wibbly sometimes when they've shuffled off the mortal coil, but hell, once they're dead, i'm really not bothered.
Sound. So many sounds. Gunfire crackles brilliantly and the Necromorphs growl and moan in ways designed to dampen trousers, but the ambient noises that genuinely slap you in the face. Noises echo from every corner of the world, and a lot of the time they'll just be there to make your heart quicken. "There was a hiss at the end of the corridor. Was it one of the evil wall-crawling bastards? Or just another damaged steam valve? Arrgh, damn you 'Dead Space'!" The hardest thing to listen to though is the 'child' necromorphs. I understand that reanimated bodies aren't always going to be adults. Logic dictates that kids are going to be turned as well. But in the name of Lance bloody Henriksen do they have to scream and cry like kids? I have no problem (in a game) at aiming a gun and pulling the trigger 500 times at a 3-foot tall monster trying to eat my ass by taking a shortcut through my stomach, but it kind of takes the fun out of it when the thing then cries like a lost child and pitifully sobs as my serrated saw-blade turns it into Vindaloo. It's like punching the school bully who made your life a living hell in school, but he's in on crutches and lives in a shoe box behind McDonalds. It's satisfying, but you still feel bad for doing it.
On a side-note, Isaac came from the 'Gordon Freeman' school of ass-kicking, in that he's got a degree in nerd-dom, and doesn't EVER SPEAK. 'Dead Space 2' changes that, in now you can't shut Isaac the fuck up. It seems every single thing makes him want to talk about something. I passed a clothes shop at one point, and half expected Isaac to start monologing about how 'his favourite car dealer wore shoes like these'. It's not a bad thing, it's just, well, not how I imagined he'd be. I expected someone more serious after essentially crawling through Satan's colon in the first game.

There's also a multi-player in this one. When I say multi-player, I mean you play with more than one person, though most of the games of it i've played essentially boil down to "Go here. Did you survive? No? Try again. Did you survive? Yes? Then go here." It's about as challenging (in theory) as kicking a beached whale, and lacks a critical element. That being 'fun'. It's 'meh.' It's 'bluh.' It's 'eeeeeeh....'. It's not bad. It's not good. It's 'fuuuh...'

Overall, the game's great, though i'd really recommend playing the original first.
And yes, there does look like there'll be a 3rd one. Bring it on, necro-bitches.



In Space, no one can hear you Scream for a Daycare Service.

Comics that stray out of the 'paper & ink' medium tend to be riddled with problems before they've even left the development stage. One minor mention of the fact that 'Blagroth, Savior of Labia' is leaving the comics for a jaunt on the Silver Screen / local game platform, and approximately 9.4 Billion people will immediately post their disgust, outrage and general pent-up bile all over the concept.
Okay, to be fair, generally comic films and games to tend to suck a hideous amount of ball-sauce.
I'm pretty sure the 'Super Mario Bros' film ranks highly in the 'Top Ten things that will cause Sterility', and generally any comic made into a game (with some exceptions that i'll go into) causes severe bleeding of the anus due to their utter bowel-shredding shitness.
Actually, when you think about it, maybe the general internet population isn't wrong to be angry whenever a new film / game gets announced. Maybe we've been bitten too many times by the dog that wagged its tail, promised to be a good boy and do the dishes, only for you to leave it alone for an afternoon and discover it's yet again set up a meth-lab in your kitchen and shagged the Cat. But next time, it promises, it'll be good.


That's it Bob, just smile through the pain and remember the paycheck.

For every piece of shining platinum we get (Games: The Punisher (2005), Batman: Arkham Asylum, Marvel VS. Capcom / Films: Ironman, Blade 2, Sin City), we have to suffer through 500 slabs of coughing, wheezing liquid filth. So yeah, maybe they're right to bitch and moan when a new one is released. Logic dictates that 'this one' isn't going to be that diamond in the rough. Nope, that we'll get is another promise from a 'good dog'. And don't even get me started on comics that become films, and then a game is released of said film. I'm pretty sure they're the source of nightmares in children.


"That's right Billy. Your Puppy died because you played this."

Well thank fuck, because 'Spiderman: Shattered Dimensions', while not a perfect game by any stretch, is at least fun to play, and makes me forget about at least three of the 'Fantastic Four' games.

'Spiderman' games are not a new thing. I'm pretty sure that 1 in 5 comics made into computer games made in the last 20 years have been about Spiderman. He's an easy superhero to get behind. You've got superhuman strength, agility, pre-cognition and of course web-swinging, so it's only natural that a superhero with such a broad power range would fit easily into the gaming circle.
The whole concept this time round is that a magical tablet (the stone kind, not Nurofen) has been nicked by Mysterio. Yes, Mysterio. Fishbowl for a head, makes illusions, about as threatening as a toddler with a particularly loud sneeze. Anyway, he robs the magical tablet, but Spiderman of course stops him, only to accidentily smash the tablet into several pieces. If you can't see where this is going, you desearve a punch square in the ovaries. But 'OH NOES!', turns out this particular magical tablet (when appropropriately smashed) causes 'diemensions' to be 'shattered'.... So essentially you've got to play four different variations of Spiderman throughout time and space in order to gather together the tablet and force Spiderman to go back to his frustratingly immortal Aunt May and emasculating wife Mary-Jane (both of which thankfully make no appearance in the game whatsoever).

Okay, so far, so interested. The idea of playing with a series of different heroes based on the original is a nice concept. And it is.
The four different Spidermen (Spidermans? Spidermales?) are:
1) The original 'Amazing Spiderman', (voiced by Neil Patrick bloody Harris!)
2) 'Spiderman Noir' who's a 1930's Gangster era Spiderman (with an exceptionally badass outfit) 3) 'Ultimate Spiderman' who still wears the 'Venom' black symbiote suit (who looks all Manga)
4) 'Spiderman 2099' the future version of the web-slinger (voiced by Dan Gilvezan, of epic retro Spiderman fame)

What's the difference between them? 'Amazing' is the standard one, 'Noir' rips of 'Arkham Asylum' by specialising in stealthy takedowns, 'Ultimate' punches the fuck out of everything, and '2099' looks sparkely and fights rejects from a cyberpunk convention.
They all call for (slightly) different playstyles, which is nice, though 'Amazing' and 'Ultimate' only seem different to me in appearance.


You will never look this cool. Stop trying.

Gameplay is grand. Yes, grand. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but it's really the best description. Is more than adequate, but not fantastic. Simple to learn, not that hard to master (and all the fancy combinations go out the window once you learn the 5 hit 'X' flurry). If anythings a phenomeonal pain in the tits, it's the targetting. Tap the button even slightly in another direction, I mean even breathe on the fucking thing, and Spiderman dashes off in an attempt to punch the bloke standing 7 miles away who's trying to pick lint out his arse.
This vex's me greatly, but you can 'learn' how do avoid it, but personally, I shouldn't have to 'learn' how to stop the game fucking up.
The bad guys are boss fights are the end of every level, and the different varients are pretty cool, especcially when you see the different dimensions versions of old Spiderman favourites.


Visually, it's actually quite clever. Each different versions world looks distinct. 'Noir' is very dark, with varying shades of grey and white, giving off a very deliberate retro feel. '2099' is shiny to the point of madness, very futuristic (obviously) and gives off some nice moments of sheer speed. 'Ultimate' is ultra-exposed, semi-cartoon style. It works. And 'Amazing' looks like a computer game. All in all, nicely varied and distinct.

Sound is a curious one, in all games. Unless a game has old-school 8-bit sound effects, I generally don't give a shit. However, soundtrack and voice acting are exceptionally important to me, and 'Spiderman' actually delivers well in both regards. The music is suitably 'action hero' when it needs to be, but the voice casting is well worth it. Each of the heroes is voiced by an actor who has performed as the web-head in a cartoon. I think that's very very clever. Neil Patrick Harris (by definition of being Neil Patrick Harris) is awesome, and both 'Ultimate' (Josh Keaton) and 'Noir' (Christopher Daniel Barnes) are great. However, ironically, it's the most experienced 'Spiderman' actor that fits a little oddly. Dan Gilvezan is a great voice actor, but was misplaced in '2099'. He'd have been a good 'Noir', but hearing an almost 'Holy Bat-Wings, Batman!' era voice come out of a man wearing a nano-tech suit (who's comic name is Miguel O'Hara, by the way) just doesn't fit right. Great voice actor, wrong part.


Jiminy Jillickers, Spiderman!

Overall, it's fun. I got good replay value out of it, and enjoyed finding out and fighting all the old / reimagined bad guys. Each level feels like it's own mini-game, which is very well done.
It's only some dodgy game controls and a too large upgrade system that cause it to fall down slightly.

Hey, it's still better than Bob Hoskins trying to do an Italian-American accent.

(Warning: This review contains small spoilers. Ye have been cautioned.)

I think I should start this by making one thing clear: I hate games that inflict (yes, I use that word appropriately) a 'partner' in games. I'm talking about the person who's following you the whole time, usually bumping into the surroundings, alerting the entire North Korean army of your presence (and location, including a helpful map, your schedule and specific phobias) and generally making your life a living and unplayable hell. Oh, and every ten seconds they'll trip on a snail, fall down, whinge that their leg is broken, and if it's not too much bother, could you please save them from the 27 Giant Mongolian Death Soldiers, armed with battle-mechs and a hideous case of swine flu. And you're armed with a small piece of fruit. I hate partners. Usually, this game mechanic is somewhat saved by the fact if you have at least one friend, they can grab a controller and take over for your terminally stupid AI comrade. Problem solved, let's go kill us some Communist Zombie Vampires!

Some game companies however still believe that the modern gamer is a 43 year old virgin that sits in their room all day covered in Dorito dust and staying up till 4am trying to find that legendary and rumoured glitch in 'Halo 9: Son of the the Master Chief' that allows you to see behind the mask of the boss in level 7. Oh, and that they don't have any friends that aren't Night Elves.
As a result, there are still 'partner' games that are not co-op. And they tend to be shockingly bad in the 'intelligence' department. Please see aforementioned 'alerting the worlds military, begging to be saved from the cross-bred spawn of Hitler and Pol-Pot, or it's GAME OVER' comment.

All this (and more) passed through my head when I first heard about 'Enslaved'. The basic premise was you were a hulking monster of a bloke (of course) who was linked to a tiny waif of a woman (of course), and if she dies, you die. Fuck-a-doodle-do, that sounds riveting.
Then the demo came out. Great thing about demos is: they're free. So I played it. And damn it, it was impressive. I'll skip the demo walkthrough and just say it convinced me to buy the game.

The story is very well written and contructed. Alex Garland (28 Days Later, Sunshine) co-wrote it, and it shows. The premise, while as I said a bit derivitive, is original enough to bypass the obvious clichés.
You play as 'Monkey' (yes, you heard me), a man who's life essentially consists of getting by day by day in the now long-decimated remains of New York City. A cross between a tribal warrior and modern day boxer, Monkey is captured by slavers. It's here he meets 'Trip', a tech-savvy young woman who simply wants to get home. Both escape the slaver ship, but there's a problem: Trip needs to get home, but she can't do it alone. She needs Monkey, but he won't cooperate. So she does the only thing she can do: attachs a 'slave band' to his forehead. A band that forces the wearer to do whatever Trip says. And if Trip's heart stops, even for a second, the wearer dies....
I won't say anymore on that, but it's exceptionally well done.

Voice-acting and motion capture can make or break a game in my opinion. A game can be the prettiest girl at the ball, with enough personality and talents that would make any man happy to take her onto the dancefloor. But then she opens her mouth, spits her gum on the floor, and tells you "Police Academy 6 is the greatest film ever made" in a voice that causes memories of a whale being attacked by hyena's.
Thankfully, 'Enslaved' boasts some of the best voice work and motion capture i've seen to date. I really shouldn't have been suprised, as it turns out Andy Serkis (yes, 'Gollum' and 'King Kong') provided both the voice and movements for Monkey, as well as directing the cut-scenes.
Needless to say, he's perfect, making what would usually be the 'Crush, Kill, Eat!' character into someone who feels genuinely human, as well as (as much as possible) accessable.
'Trip', the partner, is also excellent, both in motion capture and in voice-acting. Lindsay Shaw, the actress in quesiton, is particular excellent in the more emotional scenes, which can be genuinely saddening. Trip also breaks from the normal 'Help me! I'm a woman and scared!' cliché to be a considerably interesting character, both with strengths and flaws. Without the voice and movement work, I severely doubt this would have been possible, so major thumbs up for that.



Andy Serkis (37 years in the gym and a 10 months supply of 'Nutra-Grain' later)

Visually, the games great. It's not the greatest i've ever seen, and it won't push the boundries, but dman if it's not pretty. Certain levels are simply gorgeous (the 'Slave Ship' being a definite highlight), and overall the game looks polished and shiny.
The games main adversaries (Mechs. Goddamn I love killing Mechs) all look appropriately cobbled together and tough, the different varieties and attack styles giving a nice change of tactics. 'Dogs' are my personal favourite, as well as the 'Puligists' (well, that's what I call them!).
Something I feel I must bring up; whoever design the actual ingame character model desearves a big pat on the back. To point out one in particular, Monkey's physical appearance is perfect. He's a free-runner (I know, another one), but the game designers actually seem like they've done their homework. Monkey's built like a large titanium rhino, but it appears genuine research has gone into the idea of "What would a guy who does all this stuff LOOK like?". As such, he's got trapezium's that would make Brock Lesnar cry like a bitch, as well as legs modelled on David Belle (if you don't know who he is, then find out). It's a small note, but hell, I appreciate attention to detail. That said, the actual free-running is such an integral part of the game and is done so well and smoothly, you barely register the old mechanic; you just look at a building and think "I'll be up top in 2 minutes!", which is a nice change from other recent games that rely heavily on it (the ones where you tap 'A' just at the wrong moment and end up picking cement and rebar out of your teeth for a week. Yes Ezio. I'm looking at you.)


Burn in Silicon Hell, you damned dirty Mech!

However, 'Enslaved' does have it's flaws. For one, it's too short. I'm the kind of guy who likes his games to go on for the duration of Lent. 'Enslaved' took me a total of 7 hours gameplay to complete. Gav was not well impressed, but then again, the game content and replay factor made up for it.
Secondly, if you're in anyway a decent game player, start the game off on 'Hard'. I (as always) started it off on 'Medium', and, well, I think I died 4 times, all due to a particular 'mess up, instant death' moment.
Aside from that, there are occasional "*sigh* Again?" moments, mostly involving the long-range mechs, but these moments are few and far between,

Overall, 'Enslaved' is fun as hell. The game is fun as hell. The story is interesting and a good fresh breath on a stale idea, and I think (yes, *shudder*, i'm going to say it) if this was ever adapted to film, i'd be first in line to see it. The voice work is impeccable. Combat is slightly samey but always feels like you accomplished something when you're standing knee high in oil and cogs. I'd personally recommend the game, with a hearty 4 thumbs up.

Every now and then a game comes along that allows me to cut loose. You know the ones: the games that are whispered about in the school playground with reverent tones, and there's always one kid who was 'lucky' enough to get a copy of it, and they're all going over to his house later to witness this apparently glorious technological advance in gaming. I like these games. I find them fun, and it lets my all-too invisible mean streak out for a while, before I quickly shackle it back into the recesses of the abandoned warehouse that it my noggin. Unfortunately, usually this type of game will be slapped with so many "It's IMMORAL and EVIL!" tabloid headlines that Mary Whitehouse is briefly is reincarnated as a printing press.

These games have always been around, but in recent years they've started to decline in production, or are banned outright before we even get to see it. This is due to the 'fact' that apparently if you show a 5 year old child the box the game came in, they suddenly grow horns and start punching the cat. And watch 'Jeremy Kyle'.
I remember the outcry that occured when 'Mortal Kombat' first hit the arcades. The fact that it had the audacity to have 'blood' in it and the capability to rip the head off your badly pixelated opponent on victory made it a tabloid wet-dream.
People and papers will always freak out whenever a new 'Grand Theft Auto' is released, and apparently this one is 'worse' and 'tearing at the moral fabric' than the previous ones as this time, even though you're doing the exact same fucking thing you were doing in the last one.
But what we've seen far less of in the last few years is 'the' game that causes everyone to essentially have an aneurysm with shock when someone even mentions 3 of the letters that made up the games name. We had one in 2003, in the form of 'Manhunt'. It caused so much panic and horror that the game was banned from shops all around the UK before the disc was even warm in the drive. There was even a real life murder case attributed to it (which of course made every newspaper executive in the world wee a little bit with joy), even though the police investigating said the game had nothing to do with it. People don't care what the police say; clearly it's the games fault, and who are these 'professionals' to tell us otherwise?! The 'Daily Mail' is my trusted source of information!
In truth, the game was / is pretty damn nasty, and I love it. I hold my hand up sincerely and say that i've yet to find a better way to get my aggression out than play that game for an hour or so. Does it make me a bad person? No. Does it mean i'm going to go around and kill homeless people with a mallet? No (I kill them for completely unrelated reasons). Does the fact that the game has an 18's Certificate mean it's the games fault if a 15 year old plays it? NO. I'm getting severely fucking tired of parents and papers saying it's the 'game developers' fault when a young teenager is caught playing a game that is intended and very fucking obviously marked as an adult's only game.
"He was playing it! And his moral fibre is disintegrating as we speak!"
Not our fault. Blame the shop that sold it to him, or the adult that bought it for him. Goodbye.

This point however gets rather destroyed however when I played 'Naughty Bear'. I saw this game on sale for the very reasonable price of 40 euro. The cover showed a rather amusing stitched bear with a mean expression. And an age rating of '12'. So I bought it.
"what the hell" said I, "it looks like a laugh".
I will point out now that this game has a massive, MASSIVE failing: this should not be rated '12'. This game is extremely nasty. This is 'Manhunt' wrapped up as 'Toy Story'. All the violence and kills that were present in that original gorefest are all here, with other things much much worse.





This game is (in terms of content) absolutely horrific. I'm a massive fan of gore / violent games, and this is up there with the big boys. The fact it's dressed up in a 'teddy bear' format only makes it even more extreme (to me, anyway). I showed Ash a part of the game where I was stalking a now terrified bear. I then jumped out behind him and screamed, therefore pushing the little bear from 'terrified' to 'insane'. He then bimbled around the area, gibbering quietly. So I scared him again. And the bear then proceeded to start to cry and beat himself to death with a baseball bat. Fluff everywhere, and the cheery English Narrator (more on him in a bit) congratulated me for a 'Unfathomable Scarification'. Ash's face was pretty much frozen in horror. She then turned slowly and looked at me.
"This game is rated for 12 year olds?!"
Yup, that pretty much sums that up.

I think the fact you have an (expertly voice acted) English Narrator, very reminicent of childrens shows in the 70's and 80's, makes the game go from horror show to parody in the space of 10 seconds. Without the Narrator, the game would seem vindictive for the sake of it, but his inclusion gives the exact amount of comedy value the game needs.

My only gripe with the game is, as i've mentioned, the rating. You know the world is coming to an end when i've become the voice of reason, but if I see a parent buying this game, i'm actually going to go over and warn them about it's content. There's a bear on the box. It's got a rating of '12'. I can't imagine how many parents are going to buy this for their kids thinking it's a childrens game. *shudder*

I could go on about the game playstyle and points system, but i'll just sum it up:
The game's grand, not great, but by no means shit. It's very short, but that's not the point of the game, it's all about maximising your score. The levels are samey, but it's quite irrelevant: it's all about the score. Sound effects are excellent, and the music is nicely done with tones resembling a happy childhood TV show. Visually, the game isn't amazing, but it's perfectly suited to the tone of the game. It looks like there's 15 TeddyBears running around trying not to get murdered. Job done.

Now, i'll leave you with that, but here's a little clip for you. And yes, you can do this in the game.

After a very pleasant nights stay at Sarah & Dave's abode before the Moot, we discussed some of the (many) table-top RPG's that were present in the house. One of which was 'Dark Heresy'.

I love the Warhammer universe, most of all the 40K universe. It's bleaker than a man who has an extremely bleak outlook on life coming home one day and then drinking all the bleak he had left in the house.
When I got home from the event, I glanced over (IE: read every single line and letter) of the rules, and found them to be really cool. As a person who's only ever played D20 games (D&D and it's many splinter types) I'm on the look out to try new games, especcially ones that concern the 'Warhammer' universe. I looked at the 'Warhammer' Fantasy Role-Paying game before. Frankly, I don't see the idea of being a Dwarven Seamstress with a 25% Chance of 'Building Boats' as a fun role play option.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy D20. In fact, a friend of mine is running a 'Star Wars' one which interests me greatly. I do, however, want to try something new, and 'Dark Heresy / Rogue Trader' seem great.

But are they?

The rules seem suitably 'harsh'. Combat seems like you've REALLY got to consider cover, how much damage you can take and above all, what you're doing. You could be a highly respected Commisar with a Bolt Pistol and a Power Sword; take one bad hit and you're off to see the Emporer. I LIKE that. It's suitably tough.
I'm slightly confused by the skill purchasing system, but that's the point of a new RPG. You gotta learn.

Anyone able to let me know their thoughts on the system?

Cheers,
Gav

I'm so goddamn tired of 'Grand Theft Auto.' I was looking forward to 'Grand Theft Auto 4', only to have it bombard me with some of the worst voice acting i've heard of late, pain in the ass missions and above all, the incessant phone calls from your 'friends' to go bowling with you.
It was shit.
I don't care that much about cars. Sure, I watch 'Top Gear' and will occasionally oggle at the 'Koensigegg' to the point where my ears implode, but other than that, i'm not pushed. I don't play 'racing' games. I don't care if the 'Mk. 3' version of 'that car' has '7% better handling.' I just don't care. I don't begrudge others for liking it, more power ot them. But I just don't care. I like guns in games. I do. But what I don't like is a game that takes its guns too seriously. 'Modern Warfare 2' got around this fairly neatly, in the sense that even though there's a 'starter gun', it still fires lead at the enemy with enough force to rupture souls.
'Grand Theft Auto 4' pissed me off. So do games where the exact model of car makes the world of difference, and what gun you're using means the difference between having fun, or just getting killed every 3 seconds due to the fact your gun apparently fires a species of french bean rather than a bullet.

'Rockstar' (the guys behind 'Grand Theft Auto' and one of my favourite games of all time, 'Manhunt') also made 'Red Dead Revolver'. Think Cowboys, Guns and hella fun. Now, they've made a new one, called 'Red Dead Redemption'. Think 'Grand Theft Auto', but swap 'Auto' out with the word 'Horse.' Or 'Carraige'. Or 'Train'.
I love the 'Wild West' mythos. It's complete bullshit wrapped up in childhood brilliance. We'd all like to believe that duels were constantly occuring at high noon, that gunfights and horse chases were on the hour, every hour, and that bad guys always wore distinguishing hat wear. In reality, prbably the most famous 'cowboy' gunfight (the OK Corral) resulting the staggering deaths of only 3 people. Yup, a massacre.
'Red Dead Redemption' looks at the figures of reality, and says "Fuck that. Gun fights every 10 seconds! More horses! Can someone please pass me a bigger gun and a lasso?!"

It follows the same format as 'Grand Theft Auto', as it has essentially the same controls, the same 'massively open sandbox' gameplay, and you do missions when you want, how you want. It really is 'Grand Theft Western'. But it thankfully gets rid of all the things that piss me off about the 'Auto' games. Yes, there's different types of horses. Does it make that big a deal? No, no it doesn't. Do you have to assault someone off their horse every time you need to get somewhere? No, you can whistle and your own horse comes running. Do guns count as much? Well, yeah, kind of, but a bullet from your basic pistol still kills bastards dead.
Gambling is great. I'm currently in Mexico, cheating at Poker. Yes, you can cheat. Just don't get caught. Bounty Hunting is great, especcially trying to take them alive as their mates chase after you as you've got their boss hogtied to the back of your horse.
I could go on about specific types of gameplay, but i'll stick to the points:

Visually it looks great. Not mind-blowingly awesome, but still great.
Audibly, the music is very Morricone, lots of trumpet and having 2 settings: Sinister or 'HOLY CRAP'. The sound effects are great, guns fire with big ol' Hollywood 'BANGS!' and the voice acting is good. Only thing I will say though: Mexicans speak so very 'Mexican-ly', i'm pretty sure even Mexicans are cringing around the world for no reason whenever I play it. It's like 'Speedy Gonzales' if he were a Drug Baron.
Gameplay is exactly the same as 'Grand Theft Auto', just good ;)

I recommend the hell out of this game to anyone who likes good, fun games, or failing that, ever dressed up in a hat with a six-shooter and played 'Cowboys & Indians'. (Or 'Cowboys & Native Americans' if your touchy.)

I won't mention the plot, but I will leave on this note:
Any game that has me at one point lasso a woman out of a train station, hogtie her, and bring her back to her husband across the street because she was leaving him is singly the oddest and (ashamedly) one of the most fun things i've ever done in a game.
To quote the main character: "Ma'am, the vows said 'Till Death do you part..."
About as PC and 'modern' as it gets.

I've been waiting for 'Alan Wake' for a while now. The idea of the game intrigued the hell out of me, and the whole premise stank of awesome. A best-selling author (the 'Alan Wake' in question) is suffering from writers block and hasn't written a book in over 2 years. He takes a holiday with his wife to the small and creepy-as-hell little town of 'Bright Falls' to escape his pressuring agent and the stress of his city life. Then shit goes down, and Mr. Wake finds himself unable to remember a week of his life, his wife is missing and he apparently has written a new novel that he can't remember; a novel that is predicting the future.

Like I said, premise is badass. So, for points out of 10 for idea and background, the game gets a stonking great score of 38. But, a games premise is only good if you can back it up with that little thing known as 'actual gameplay'.
The whole jazz with 'Alan Wake' is the Dark. The Dark is bad. Light is very very good. In fact, light is so very very good, that it's the entire point of the fucking game. Unsuprisingly enough, the majority of the game takes place at (shocker!) night, with Alan legging around the shop with only a flashlight, a revolver and presumably enough coffee to kill a small horse.
The gameplay mechanic is quite simple: shine light on bad guys to 'burn away the darkness' then blow them away with old-fashioned gunplay.
One little point I will say on the gunplay aspect is that in most modern games if the protagonist uses a gun they are essentially Thor, firing guns that would make Dolph Lundgren cry in cinematic sequences that require the possession of at least 5 testicles in order to survive its utter manliness. (Examples: 'Modern Warfare 2', 'Army of Two', essentially everyone who draws breath in the 'Gears of War' series.)
The diffence in 'Alan Wake' is that Alan does not feel like a reborn Embodiment of gun-dealing Death. In fact, quite the opposite. A lot of the fight sequences to get across the fact that Alan is, in essence, just a bloke with a gun. Gav likes this.


(Jason Statham this guy ain't)

The mood of the game is the biggest part of it. While the game does have a lot of 'action' (I hesitate to use the word 'action', but it'll do) it's the atmosphere and the story that really drive it and make it unique. As i've already said, Alan has written a book he doesn't remember writing in the week he's forgotten, and said book is predicting the 'future'. After you find the first couple of pages (which are scattered all over the town) and read of what 'will happen', you're hooked. Completely. Line and Sinker. I know a game's interesting when Ash is sitting on the couch next to me and willingly watchs me play it for 2 hours, stating "No, keep playing, this is getting really interesting!" Needless to say, when Ash made this statement I had to call Satan to see if Hell had frozen over. Turns out it hadn't, and he was just as confused as I was.
The pages, while on paper (no pun intended) seem like a standard 'game collectable' actually become an exciting find. Normally, I don't give a crap about finding '100 Blah scattered about the game world' but in this case, I'm scouring under every bloody pizza box in the world to see if one's there. The 'page' mechanic is genius.
Also, another piece of pure gold is the way the game seperates its sections. Each main section is referred to as an 'episode', and once completed, gives you a TV series style title screen with a song to fit the events that have unfolded. Also, once you start the next episode, it does a little 'recap' of the previous episode, including a whole "Previously, on 'Alan Wake'" segment, making it feel like you're playing through a TV mini-series. It's brilliant.

However, there are one or two things that made me sigh in slight sadness. While the game's mood and premise is excellent, sometimes it gets SO twisted and odd that I expect the Winchester Brothers to pull up outside, pat Alan on the shoulder and say "Don't worry, we got this."
The 'dark bad / light good' mechanic, while well done, has been done to death. I will say that the game handles the old idea very well, but occasionally it seems quite derivitive.
The combat sequences are frequent enough, but also can seem quite simple and almost 'tacked on'. It's not that they're badly implemented or slap-dash, it just seems sometimes like the developers said "Right, chuck another fight in here. May as well..."

On a minor note, the voice acting is very good, but the voice direction and the way the pages are read especcially smacked my memory into gear, to the tone of 'Gav finds this very familiar to the 'Max Payne' games tone'. 2 minutes and one Google search later; the game is made by the same studios as the 'Max Payne' series. It's not a bad thing, just shows they're clearly stickin with the same idea of voice work.

In short, it's a great game, and i'm enjoying the hell out of it. The protagonist is interesting, and I adore the fact he references real-life pop-culture to address certain things, such as referencing Stephen King at one point in particular. It only enhances the fact that Alan is a human being, not just a person you move around with a control pad.
The atmosphere is immense, and the premise (as i've said) is brilliant. Voice acting is good and plot is engaging.

Haven't finished it yet, but I can't wait to, and also kind of don't want it to! MUST FIND MORE PAGES!

'Lost Planet' was / is one of my favourite games. True, it's not so much a favourite that i'd kill a small kitten to play it again, but it is a favourite in the sense that if there's nothing to currently do, i'll happily jaunt around 'E.D.N III' for a few hours, blasting Akrid away in a Mech that's currently set to 'Fuck your day up'. I mean, come on! It's got a machine in it that's 15 feet tall and has a freakin' Thermal Powered Chainsaw for a forearm! It's like Mecha-Campbell!


'Lost Planet 2' was inevitable, and I like many were simply waiting for it to be set free. I currently have a sordid love affair with 'Capcom', the games creators. As of roughly the last 5 years, they have yet to release a game that I didn't think was a block of solid Gold. The 'Resident Evil' series, 'Dead Rising', 'Street Fighter', etc. All immense.
To only add further love to them, all their games seem to be at least 10 euro cheaper than most. 40 euro for 'Lost Planet 2', and 30 euro (yes, 30) for 'Super Street Fighter 4'.
My only logic to their pricing is that they know the world will buy their games with abandon, so they'll know they'll make the money back. Geniuses!

So, anyway. 'Lost Planet 2' takes place 10 years after the first game, which makes as much difference as if your steak arrived with a sprig of Parsley or not. Only big thing is, the planet is now essentially terra-formed, so it's not completely covered in ice and snow. The different factions are now dealing with the fact that they need to blah blah blah. In short, planet not an ice-cube anymore, lots of factions, giant bugs and mechs still all over the shop.

The gameplay is essentially the same (which isn't a bad thing) though I do agree with some other people in saying that the controls for some of the alternate manouvers can be tricky at best in a tight spot (try holding the left stick into click position and pressing LT while piloting a mech with all the social graces of a Hippo having sex with a bridge in order to melee attack an opponent who may well be constructed out of greased piss, all the while still using the left stick to actually MOVE the bloody thing), but none of these moves appear to be essential to the game. When in doubt, unload 400 rounds of hot lead into the bastards tends to do the trick.
The enemies are still the same in their base form (mechs, pirates and Akrid 'aka: Giant Bugs'), but with new and tastier varients. Pirates still drop nicely quick due to your withering fire, mechs are trickier (as usual) and the Akrid are still awesome fun to fight. The Boss Akrid fights are great, save one or two ridiculously 'cheap' bad ones with attacks that they spam to the point of laying the controller gently down on the table, leaving the room and having a cry in the shower.


(WORM SIGN! Note: The tiny little black things flying above it are slightly bigger than humans)

So far, so good. However, the big new addition to the game is the fact that this can now be played as a 4 Player Co-op. I decided as I always do to wait for 3 of my mates to play it with me, as nothing frustrates me more than playing a game with randoms. There's too much possability of fuck-muppetry. I have a theory that Hell has expanded, and there's now a 10th Level of Hell called 'Xbox Live'. The guilty must spent all eternity down there with a head-set permenantly on high volume and play 'Halo 3' with an endless commentary provided by 15 year old American kids.
So, I played the game through first in Single player. And it was okay. Not amazing, not shit, but okay. AI suffered a little from 'What do we do?!' syndrome, but they tended to be fine when the chips were down. Then, I played it with 3 of my mates. And holy crap is it fun. It's hella fun. It's a new level of fun. To quote Doc (on of said players) after the first level was over and we collected our rewards: "Lads, this is fuckin' AWESOME".

However, as we went further into the game, an apparent issue reared it's ugly head.
Some levels (and they know who they are) are incredibly difficult. Not 'slowly ramping up the difficulty'. Not 'now HERE's a challenge'. Just 'INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT'. It's like you're marching through a forest with your mates. Occasionally, a partiuclarly nasty looking Squirrel would pop it's head out from a tree, but your friend has a Gatling Gun, and blows the little bastard back to the Stone Age. Then, one day, you enter a Glade, and your lovely Gatling Gun has become a small piece of cheese, and that little angry Squirrel is now Satan, with an army of Wolves with teeth the shape of swastika's. And he kills you. Over and over and over again, to the point that you and your friends decide to exit the forest via turning the fucking game off. In this metaphor, Satan represents a train.

So, all in all, a good game that becomes a great game with friends.
Just avoid taking the fuckin' train. Steam powered pricks.

Well, it's basically done. The rules for 6 races are complete, as well as a basic Skill Tree.
It's nowhere near finished, but hey, it's the first rule draft.

Anyone who wants to give it a look over for me, i'd be very appreciative.
Just send me a request comment with an email address.

Cheers guys,
Gav

Well, yes, I am completely addicted to airsoft. It's just a fact. I do loves it, and it's a fantastically good time. Now it comes to my attention that there are a few Airsoft LRP's in the UK, though all my searching has found sites and systems that seemed to have shut down a few years ago :(

So i've started writing my own rules system for one. So far have ideas for the world, a comprehensive Tiered skill systems, with over 10 tree's, and racial bonuses / negatives for the 6 character races / ethnicities.

Will show progress of rules soon, but the big question is:

Would anybody play it?

Cheers,
Gav

P.S: If someone could give me details of any unusual UK Airsoft laws that I may not be aware about, I would be very grateful (restrictions, joule limits, site regulations, etc)